…or I can do everything in my power to take control of the situation.
More often than I would like to admit, I feel stressed out and completely worn out by life with four children. Yes, I know, I choose to have these children, and therefore some feel I should be grateful for every teeny, tiny moment as a mother. I used to spend my time reading articles online about how to be the best mother, how to enjoy your time with kids, what you should and shouldn’t do. There are opinions on every side of each situation which often left my head spinning and my entire core being drenched in that dreaded mommy guilt.
Yes, the guilt that I felt when I didn’t feel like playing monopoly after a long day and two out of four children whining over what was for dinner. Claiming they ‘hated’ it even though last time I’d made it they’d loved it and eaten seconds!
The guilt I felt when I was overjoyed at the end of the day, if they all went to sleep easily, to be able to sit down, lay down, do whatever I want. Deciding that those dishes could be put into the dishwasher later because I just didn’t have the energy to want to go to yet another thing for anyone other than just me.
Selfish much? Well, no, yes, maybe a little? But the point is. Who cares or who can really define if it’s selfish to want to be ones own person? Who can say it’s really that selfish to say no to yet another round of “Go Fish” after having played 5 in a row?
For saying “if you want to complain about your dinner, you can just go without”? Knowing full well that having two meals and two snacks already, the child isn’t likely to starve at all. Besides, it has significantly cut down on the whining about meals that were previously loved and then whined about for one reason or another.
Today has not been the best of days for me. I’ve been sick to my stomach all day, aching, tired, AF is here, and I got 4 1/2 hours of sleep before Var woke up insanely early for the weekend. I can hardly get him to wake up at 7:40 on a school day, yet he wakes up at 7:19 on the weekend? What is WITH That? Of course I sent him back to bed “yes, get a drink, go bathroom, go lay back down. You still have bags under your eyes.”
I then attempted to sleep again, but of course couldn’t right away, and was up for another hour before I managed to doze off and on for the next couple as the kids came in and asked me if it was okay to have cereal for breakfast (yes???) or the pancakes in the freezer (this is what they’re there), or even the waffles in the freezer (again, yes?!). I don’t know why they feel the need to ask for the simple things like that for breakfast, and really if I’d gotten to sleep in until, ohhh.. say 9am, like I get to on Mondays (because school doesn’t start until 10am) I would have gotten out of bed to make french toast.
But like I said, I woke up sick, as in not even crackers and water wanted to stay in sick. I’ve been that way allllllllll day.
I also got extremely fed up that it took 30 minutes today to have a bag of cereal put back where it belonged. Yes, half an hour, and yes, I did get so mad that I cancelled out date to the movie because that was the warning. After asking for 20 minutes “Put the cereal away, if it’s not by the time I am done getting dressed. There will be no movie.” Go all four suffered having to go and make sure to clean up their bedrooms really nice (because they tend to avoid it, thus driving me crazy when it comes time to put them to bed..), and didn’t get to go to the Lorax.
Which is a bummer, because I really wanted to go and see this movie! Sadly, we’ll see how it goes the weekend after next. Hopefully we can go see the movie and the house doesn’t explode. I’m kidding, it wont explode. Even if my playful threat it ‘or I’ll destroy the universe!’ I know I can’t really destroy the universe, the kids know I can’t really destroy the universe, and I don’t even know why I say it other than to joke around.
So today, in hopes to try and curb behavior and messiness that drives me crazy. I’m going to give sticker/reward charts yet another try. I’m so bad with these things, because having to print them up weekly is something I can forget. Yeesh!
I am going to print myself one out too, so that I can actually get on top of certain things that I expect the kids to do (like… for example, my own bedroom. Yikes!)
I download charts from Kids Pointz, where you’re required to sign up for the site, but it’s completely free anyway. I have to figure out what is the goal per kid in order to be able to go out and do the family viewing of the Lorax. Since it’ll easily cost $70-80 just to go see the movie and enjoy any snacks. Which I try and purchase because I know it’s really the only way theaters make money. Even if the prices are murder.
I have to admit to one more thing…
The kids seemed to listen to me a fair bit more when Aussie was here than they do without him here. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s because he treats me so well and they emulate it? But when he’s gone they get bad examples from the way my ex (not ex husband, but Lis’s dad) completely disrespects me and my rules? I have no idea, but I wish I knew.
So can I ask, what do you all do to help your children listen to the house rules and stay on top of their chores? Are there specific things that work best? What have you tried that hasn’t worked that you can think of?
Any ideas would be absolutely appreciated!
~Kisa
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